It was a moment that could have happened a billion times. I was busy tick-tick-ticking away on the keyboard, sending a long (I don’t think I ever send a short one…) email to a friend that I had not written to in oh-so-long. As I was busy pulling thoughts from my jumbled brain to the blank box in front of me, the cursor blinking in it’s effort to catch its breath between word marathons, that I had an epiphany.
I am not one of those people that struggle for years to suddenly have a life changing epiphany. For me, at least, they tend to show up with alarming frequency. I am not sure how that works for others, but for me it generally begins when I am speaking, or typing, in this instance, and I will mumble (or type) a few words that seem to get stuck just as they come out of my mouth. In truth, there are times that I will stop mid-sentence and just ponder the words I had just (or was just about to say). If there was a soundtrack to me life, this would be the moment that some mysterious and petite little piano solo would begin and work its way into a full-on forte.
Epiphanies, although more frequent for me than some that I know, never feel less significant even in the somewhat regularity that I experience them. It’s as though I am speaking a truth when suddenly I realize that it is perhaps more true than I had every thought it was–as if just recognizing the truth of it made it quite suddenly much more precisely and completely accurate. Most of the time I am tempted to go right down that rabbit hole and pursue just how true this epiphany is (and anyone that has spoken to me for any length of time can attest to this…) so much so that often I will effectively forget about what I was saying and have to be re-directed.
Funny things, epiphanies. They always show up at the strangest time, but I have noticed that there is a pattern. I tend to have them when I concentrate on getting thoughts correct from brain to mouth (or fingers). It is generally when I can silence the inner chatter of day to day living that I am able to allow my brain to connect the dots and hold up the picture to me. To me, epiphany is the brain connecting the dots to show me the pattern that I might otherwise completely miss (and often do, to my chagrin).
I am sure that there is at least one person wondering what this epiphany was, and I will share it. Strange, but it seems that my whole day set me up for this one. First of all, I heard a song on a commercial. I had to know what it was because that is how I am with music that I get obsessed with. So I did what any girl in my spot would have done. I googled. After a few minutes, I had the song name and performer. Within a few more minutes, thanks to modern technology, I had a copy of the entire song. As I suspected from the snippet I heard on the television, I love the melody. The bonus was that I also found that the lyrics were a gem.
A few hours later, as I was composing an email, I began to explain that although life has many twists and turns, ups and downs, and highs and lows, I have learned to accept and even embrace this. As I said in the missive to my longtime friend, I used to sit and think “I will be so happy with my life slows down a little and makes more sense.” As I have grown over the years I have realized that if life were to ever slow down and make sense I am beyond sure that I would become restless and bored. I have learned that it is easier to roll with the punches and go with the flow” or something like that. You get the idea.
For me, I suppose, it is ultimately better that I don’t know exactly what comes next, because really, how boring would that be?
BTW…if you are interested in the song, here is a link.